There is one constant that has defined this election, and it’s not just “change.” It is not, as TIME proclaimed, an election where “the only predictability was unpredictability.” No, that was too abstract. Super Tuesday, as some theorized, did not “settle[] nothing.” It settled everything: Hillary didn’t have a plan after Super Tuesday, was cash-strapped, and Obama’s gridlock with Hillary that day demonstrated to voters his ability to compete against her, his 10-in-a-row wins a possible consequence of that. Anyway, the other constant was the colorful, ever-present metaphors that have graced this election.
The shattering began in Iowa. Commenting on Obama’s victory, David Brooks gasped that he witnessed “earthquakes,” a tectonic shift that reverberated earth’s very core. Pretty apt, because this upending of an established order was similar to a wrecking geographic chasm, shaking the stage for what was to become the most exciting election in recent memory.
Then, it blew to climate change. When Hillary stunningly saved her campaign in New Hampshire, weathering Obama’s momentum and poll numbers, TIME thundered about “spring, the season of rebirth.” Accordingly, pollsters, like weather forecasters, got every prediction wrong as voters refused to listen to experts, instead preferring to create their own weather. The battle was shaping up, the storm brewing in the teacup, only at a larger, real-life magnitude.
Next up: nurture against nature. Maureen Dowd teased Hillary, lamenting her fate that the calibrated, polished senator was outshined during her marriage to a “Natural”, only to be usurped by another “Natural” when she began her march to coronation. Oh, how fate conspires, how nature acts!
At times, the portrayal seemingly referred to a bygone era of mythical creatures and magical spells, resplendent with sorcery and old-fashioned warriors. For instance, Dowd exclaimed that to win, Obama needed to “slay the dragon.” The metaphor was almost one-sided, glorifying man’s heroism against nature’s bestial agents.
Bill Clinton himself has often been dubbed a “Force of Nature,” his charisma a tsunami and a tornado that sweeps all before him. But when he threatened to overshadow Hillary’s candidacy in South Carolina, the media flared, spewing froth and blazing petulance about a phenomenon never witnessed before in history: the emergence of the “two-headed dragon” — a referral to the ferocious Clinton attack machine — another head added for good measure. Uh. Anyway, for dramatic effect, they could have used a machine analogy too, perhaps by noting that a machine has no chinks, operates with clockwise efficiency and never tires. Maybe the failure to recognize that was what detached the gloss of inevitability.
Staying consistent with the themes of medieval knights and romantic valor, “Camelot,” the knight in shining armor, galloped to battle with the Kennedy’s endorsement of Obama. Ted, as the “lion,” passed the torch and the mantle of the Kennedy legacy onto Obama. It was almost like watching King Arthur knighting the hero, set against a backdrop of modern day elections.
Now, we have the “cult of personality” and the “messiah.” Accordingly, Obama’s followers have become a cult-like group, devoting an unshaken belief to the next coming, which should be cause for concern. For instance, Brooks denounced Obama’s apocalyptic message of “we are the change we have been waiting for.” Well, after eight years of Bushism in the White House, maybe we even need a third coming. Amen.
The latest, a response to Obama’s Wisconsin’s victory, was a Clinton surrogate’s portrayal of Obama as the “silver tongued …thespian.” This is exactly what Obama’s message is about: ending the circus act that has thrilled Washington for a long time. We don’t need another few years of Clinton White House psychodrama, entertaining it may be, or Bush’s secret theatricals behind the scenes. We need empowerment and inspiration, graced by a virtuoso performer.
With Obama’s 10 straight, sweeping wins, “God” will probably not be too far from the horizon. You heard it here first.
Regale ZACH HAN with your own colorful, entertaining, acerbic metaphors at zklhan@ucdavis.edu.
